Thursday, November 10, 2011

AND THEN THE COLD FEET SYMPTOMS BEGAN...

So my book is finished. I have edited and rewritten it several times and came to the conclusion that it can’t get any better than this. I love what I have written and I am ready.

So now what?

Well as I have recently discovered the stress comes soon after that.  My goodness I thought that writing the book and editing was the hard part.

I was dead wrong.

I had formatting and layout to worry about.  I don’t know shit about that.  Good thing I know people that are willing to help me with that.  But I must say it was a horrible and tedious process. It came to a point where I just wanted to say fuck it and just leave it the way it was.

I conquered that three headed monster and I was relieved. But after all that editing and formatting I realized that 40 pages of my book were gone.  40 pages may not seem like a lot but I FREAKED!

To my editing, layout and formatting team I say “What the fuck happened?!”

My husband did not understand why I was so upset.  I mean this is a man that hates to read and if a book is longer than 40 pages he ain’t looking at it.

So I slept on it and realized i had more rewriting to do.  I went back to the book and saw all kinds of ways I could improve the book.  It seemed my characters had more to say after all.

Finally I was done with all that.  I had formatted, edited and put the book to rest. 

My husband and the graphic artist were working on the cover and the marketing was underway.

Just when I started to relax it hit me like a cold icy chill.

And then the cold feet symptoms began…


What if people don’t like my book?

What if they do buy it and hate it?

What if they hate it so much that they decide to throw eggs at my house?

What if my family reads it and disowns me?

What if my friends think differently of me after they read it and not want to be my friend anymore?

What if…

It was driving me insane. I was freaking myself out before is even out for sell. I don’t handle stress well so it ended being grouchy me and crying me and ready to bite someone’s head off me. And then my surfing the net I came across this quote

Forget all the rules. Forget about being published. Write for yourself and celebrate writing.
~Melinda Haynes

I realized then that none of this crazy stuff mattered.  I write because I love to write.  I would never put out a story I didn’t love. I really don’t care if it sells. This book may not work out and it there is possibility that it doesn’t do well. I will not stop writing.  I will write and write and write until I find a combination that people will love.  This is my dream and I will let nothing get in my way!

Ok, so maybe I do care if my book sells…Please buy my book!!!!!!!!!!!

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