Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Small Talk is the Devil (Excuse my rant...)


Don't like small talk ; Love rainy days  ~Melissa Gilbert

There is one thing in life that I truly hate with a passion. Small Talk.

In elevators, waiting on the elevator any scenario where I can be engaged in small talk I really try to avoid.

You get all those questions about the weather and the ever present:

“So, Thank God it’s Friday.” Comments.

I just want to scream

“I KNOW ITS FRIDAY, I DON’T GIVE A DAMN THAT IT’S GETTING COLD. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME RIDE THE ELEVATOR TO MY FLOOR IN PEACE!”

Some people just can’t take the silence that insures when there are strangers in their vicinity.

Well, I can. Small talk is just a conversation about nothing that no one cares about.

How do I always get stuck in those moments that leave me vulnerable to small talk?

One prime place to get captured with no place to go is the Elevator. My sister does not ride the elevator because she is claustrophobic, but I would take the stairs if it means no small talk.

Those people are always finding meaningless things to talk about. When I used to work at the Health Dept, I would always get stuck in the elevator with the person that is in a bright and cheery mood. They want to talk about how cold/hot/cool it is outside. They want to know where you bought that coat.  They feel the need to ask (if you are pregnant) is this your first child and if you have any more at home. 

SHUT THE HELL UP!

You know who are good for small talk? Women.

I can get in an elevator and men will not say a word.  More often than not they may make one comment and that is it.

Women like to talk and give follow up questions.  I just would really like it if they just shut up sometimes. 

That was one thing that I hated about being pregnant.  There are so many people that come up to you wanting to touch your belly and make comments about your pregnancy. 

Some people say that I am mean, but I just like to keep to myself sometimes.

When I walk pass people on the sidewalk, I avoid eye contact.  Eye Contact makes people feel like they are obligated to speak to you.  I refuse to let them pin me with that obligation.  I don’t look at them.

So if you see me in an elevator or waiting in line or in the grocery aisle.

Please resist the urge to talk to me.

 I know little old lady that you want to tell me how cute my baby is and cashier you want to begin to tell me how hard your day is, but just know that most of the time I do not give a damn and would really like to spend these last couple minutes in the elevator, in the store not listening to you.

Man I hate small talk!

No comments:

Post a Comment