Monday, November 7, 2011

My Love Affair

Love is easy, and I love writing. You can't resist love. You get an idea, someone says something, and you're in love.  ~Ray Bradbury

I’m a hopeless romantic.  I love to be in love and there is nothing like falling in love with a story or an idea. It possesses you and it doesn’t let go. 

I love to write and when I am not writing I am not happy.  I can’t eat I can’t sleep if I feel like I wasted my time and if I didn’t get the chance to write.

I live for the ideas that come to me and force me to grab my laptop or a piece of paper and write.

Sometimes they come to me in a dream.

  Story ideas.

 They come to me and I find it hard to sleep.  It is a love affair that I have had my whole life and I like the chase.  The thrill of getting that one good idea is what I live for.  It is exhilarating when you write something and you just can’t stop. You loathe the moment when you have to put down the pen and paper and focus on something else.  It is very difficult to do. 

I’m Obsessed!

I’m obsessed with writing down my thoughts my desires and my inspirations.

I feel guilty when I spend my day doing anything other than writing.  I go to bed feeling like the day was wasted.

I struggle sometimes being a housewife, mother and a writer.

 I feel guilty when I am not paying attention to the kids because mommy is on fire. 

Sometimes the house doesn’t get cleaned today because I just figured out how to make my story better and I just got a new idea for a chapter or a few new ideas for a new book and I just have to get it down on paper. 

I actually feel sometimes that I am cheating on my family by staying up all night writing or cooking dinner too late because I just can’t tear myself away from my lap top or from my pad and paper. 

Like right now as I type this post my 6 month old is crying for me because I spoiled her rotten and in her world I am the only one that can give her the comfort that she desires. 

But this love affair consumes me and it has a hold that I cannot break.  I don’t want to. I would heartbroken if I never wrote another word again.  It is my life and I must embrace it.

This love affair is not like any other.  Without it I am lost…

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