Pornography is about dominance. Erotica is about mutuality.” ~Gloria Steinem
The above quote shows that there are plenty of people out in our crazy world that have their own views on what the difference is between Romance, Erotica and Pornography.
Those views tend to cloud what people think of me when they find out that I intend and hope to earn a living as an erotic writer.
It is kind of awkward when I tell people what I do for a living now. It is especially awkward when I tell my husband’s co-workers that I am an erotic writer.
I am always afraid that they will read more into that than what is really there. When I tell people, they seem to get very quiet and I can see their minds working. I can’t always be sure what they are thinking, but I can guess.
My husband has now suggested that I tell them that I am a novelist. I guess that sounds better.
I hate it when people tell me I write smut!
Many people assume because I write Erotica that I write pornographic pieces. That is so not the case.
But I get it. Most people do not understand the difference between Romance, Erotica and Porn.
Well here is my take on the matter.
A Romance novel focuses on the romantic voyage that a relationship takes between the two parties that gets them to their happily ever after fairytale scenario.
Porn is all about sex and more appropriate the gritty park of “Fucking” period. Porn does not care whether they are happy, sad, going to live happily ever after. It does not matter. It’s all about the sex.
I see Erotica as the graceful meeting of the two. I have always loved erotic novels just for that. It is closer to real life for me. As much as we want it to be sometimes, sex is not all about fucking without any emotions involved and it is also not just about this blissful romantic version of love. It does not always end up happily ever after either and it does not always involve love.
Not that I think pornography or the typical romance are bad. I feel that erotica has the sensuality and passion that porn lacks. Yet, it just gets right down to it and shows the sexual trip that love can take unlike romance novels.
I will leave you with this example:
Romance Novel: He entered her with a delicate calmness that brought her attention to his eyes. He carried her with him as he brought them both to the height of their love.
Erotic Novel: He entered her delicate and wet pussy with ease. Her attention was carried to his eyes as he pushed his hard dick deeper inside of her. He would not stop until she came and his dick wept, emptying out all the passion he was holding inside.
Pornography: He put his dick into my pussy and we fucked until we came.
See the difference?