Tuesday, November 8, 2011

The Writer and her mother

As it nears time for my book to be published I am excited and happy…but I am also a little sad. 

I know it seems weird for me to be sad at a time when my dream is about to come true.  I spent my whole life working hard to make this dream happen. Not just the writing and publishing my own book but just knowing that I accomplished something that I have spent my whole life dreaming about.

But it is very difficult to completely celebrate my accomplishment knowing that there is one person that will not be here to help me celebrate.

My mother.

You see my mother died over a year and a half ago.  She died suddenly of a massive heart attack and our whole family was devastated. 

You have no idea how amazing my mother was.  When she passed she left behind 9 children, over 40 grandchildren, 4 great grandchildren and a loving husband that would do anything for her.

She taught us all about life and especially about cooking.  She loved to cook and her dream was to be published as well.  She spent most of her time fine tuning her recipes and working on her cookbook.

She was an amazing woman and I am the woman I am today because of her.  I miss her a lot and some days are harder than others. 

I am better than I thought I would be.  I assumed that if and when one of my parents passed away I would be a mess.  You would find me in the corner crying for days unable to be consoled. 

But that did not happen.  It surprised me.  Yet, I understand why.  I loved her and she knew it.  I had no regrets.  I knew she loved me and that was enough to keep me going. 

She will never see my first book in print and she will never see her own cookbook published with First Draft Publishing. 

I hope that I am wrong though.  I hope that she sees all of this and that she is elated and proud.  I hope she sees my happy tears when I sell my first copy of my very first published book. 

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