It was a peaceful and serene scene. Music was playing softly in the bathroom as I showered and relaxed letting the hot steamy water wash away the worry and stress from the day. It was cascading down my large breasts toward the meeting of my dark naked thighs soothing and exhilarating me. Beyoncé ‘s song “ 1+1” was playing in the background and I softly sang along to the music as I stepped out of the water grabbing my towel and wiping off the water sliding down my naked chocolate legs. After drying off, I grab my bottle of fragrant lotion and began to rub it all over myself, letting my hand linger between my legs for a second. I continue to sing to the music started to feel so relaxed and sexy ready to put the kids to bed so that the hubby and I…
Then there is banging on the bathroom door
“How much longer are you going to be in there?” The hubby asks.
I sigh. I just wanted 15 minutes to myself.
“A few more minutes!”
“Mi-Mi needs her uniform pants.”
I sit on the toilet and sigh.
“That can wit until I m done.
Silence. Good I think. But that is short lived.
“Mommy, Mi-Mi being mean to me…”
You know it is so hard to feel sexy or put sexy words down on paper when…you don’t feel sexy. It is the hardest thing that I have had to do lately. My husband doesn’t get it. He can turn it on and off very easily. It is different for me. Sometimes I let the stress; pressure and weight of the day to day worry steal my sex appeal from me.
It makes it difficult to write or even think about writing when you are constantly running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out and give up. There are moments when I can’t muster up the mojo that I need to put sexy thoughts on the paper because there is not a sexy bone in my body at the moment.
It is harder now than it has ever been before because I often feel like all the weight has been placed on my shoulders and I m sinking and drowning. I feel like a one-woman-show around here and sometimes I just want to quit.
I have tried to take those moments for me when I can clear my head and focus on what needs to be done. I m now working on my second and third novel, preparing for a massive move, trying to work with attorneys to get this adoption done before the move and still focus on the everyday functions like grocery shopping, doing laundry, keeping up with doctor’s appointments and school functions and
In the process of finding all this shit to do, I have somehow lost my mojo.
Help! Somebody find my MOJO!!!