Monday, April 16, 2012

Sex and the Sleeping baby: Oh the guilt...


Husband kissing me on the neck obviously ready to start something.



Me: “What are you doing?”

Husband: “I thought it was obvious.” He said as his hands found my breasts.

Me: I know but the baby is right there.

Husband: “Ok, but she’s asleep.”

His hand slips into my pants. It feels so good but I just can’t let him go further.

Me: I can’t do it with her sleeping right there. It just feels wrong.

He sighs.

Husband: “Trust me, she won’t remember a thing.”



I remember when my first daughter was born.  We used to keep a bassinet right by the bed to make it easier for me to breast feed and get to the baby every two hours.  It was no problem during the 6 week waiting period, but once my doctor cleared me for action; it was more of a problem.

My husband, who has an amazingly high sex drive, was anxious to go after the unbearable 6 week hiatus. I on the on the hand was ready to go, but could not fathom having sex with a sleeping baby nearby.

My husband has no problem with it. It does not bother him like it bothers me.

Even after he moved the bassinet across our large room, I still didn’t feel doing some of the nasty things that we do with her in the room. Being a first-time mother I just felt like some of the things that my husband and I did were not “mother-like”.  I just felt so guilty. I just felt so wrong.

I did not know to get to the point where I could separate.

Sometimes it is hard to compartmentalize. I am called on to be mommy so much that I lose myself.  It is hard for me to separate my womanly sexual self from my “mommy” self. 

By the time I had my second child, it started to subside some.

Mainly, because my husband wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I also realized he was right. They do not remember it anyway.  It took some time but I had to realize that it’s ok to be a mom and still be a sexually open and adventurous woman.  

When you are so fucking hot that you turn yourself on, you just have to get used to it.

I mean, that is how they got here in the first place.