Monday, February 11, 2013

The Erotic Housewife Checks in - Sex and kids. Ok, maybe that doesn't sound right...


I have been a Housewife, a mom and an erotic writer for a couple of years now.  I enjoy writing and I enjoy having the opportunity to bet there with my kids.

Yet, there has been something that has weighed on my mind.

My worst fear is the profession that I have chosen would affect my children in anyway. I’m not a stripper or porn star or prostitute but it seems that anyone who deals with sex in anyway are seen in a certain light.

A recent incident made me think long and hard about my life as an erotic writer.

My daughter has a friend where her parents may be so overprotective that they would always make excuses why their child could not come over to our house to play. Their daughter will call and ask me if she can come over and visit with my daughter and her parents would say yes and then they would change their mind and say no at the last minute which would leave my daughter distraught.

I understood because my kids say I am extremely overprotective as well. My oldest kid said that when her bus was late dropping her off, she automatically assumed I called the police.

So, I understand.

However, my daughter and her friend really want to get together. I made an effort to meet her mom and try to ease her fears, but still no matter what I did, they refused to let their daughter visit my daughter at our house. I was willing to let my daughter go over there but then I thought it if they are so worried about us and their daughter, then maybe I should be worried about them and my daughter.

I was all up in arms about it. I didn’t know what the reason could be. Then a friend asked me if maybe they knew what I did for a living. I said I didn’t know but what did it matter anyway? She then said maybe they are not comfortable with my erotic writings and may not want their child in my house because of it.

Just a thought of that devastated me. Was my worst fear coming true? The last thing I want is for my profession to affect my kids in this kind of way.

I thought about it long and hard and I became a little depressed thinking about it.

Being an erotic writer, I come across a lot of people who assume that because I write erotica write and talk about sex a lot that I’m some kind of sexual deviant or a sexual expert. Yes I talk about sex… A lot and I write about it a great deal but that does not make me a sexual deviant, sexual expert and trust me, it does not mean I have a sexual dungeon anywhere.

It actually took me a long time to be able to talk so freely about sex. I’m new at this and I try to protect my kids and keep them as far away from my writing and this world as I can. Yet I found a career that I love and is more part of who I am than anything I’ve ever done. I do not want to give it up, though I would give it up if I thought it affected my kids.

I would do anything for my family.

The worst thing that could happen is that years from now they are embarrassed or ashamed of what I’ve done or what I’ve written. I want them to be proud of me and know how hard I worked to be successful doing something I love to do and still was an incredible mom to all 3 of them. I asked my kid and she said she had no problem with what I did.

That may be so, yet I know it will always be in the back of my mind.

3 comments:

  1. You are who you are. When I first started writing erotic poetry, I never said anything to my kids because I didn't want them to look at me differently. They were grown, but at home. One day I wanted something to read, so I asked my youngest what did she have to read. I wanted what was the latest hot seller. I wanted to known what they were reading. She smiled and handed me a book, without question I started to read it. It turned out to be erotica. It turns out both my kids read erotica. I was busy hiding mine, while they were reading theirs in front of me. What a shocker. One day my niece went into my den and saw my Zane collection and ask if she could read them, it seems she had missed a few. It was as if she was talking about any other book. She even ask me about other erotic books... I have realized reading erotic is no longer a big deal. Yes, there are still some who think erotica is the same as porn, but that's because they have shut their eyes to the real world. My spouse was like that until recently. She would not read my erotic poems. One day on purpose I left one out knowing she would read it. She ask me was it suppose to be erotic because it read more like a romantic poem. I said yes, vulgar owrds does not make it erotic, the flow of words make it erotic, which is the way you write. So if someone is going to be hindsight because you write erotica, so be it...

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  2. Thank you! i truly appreciate your words. That really means alot. I too have found that family and some friends that I assumed would be bothered by it love it. My dad (though I would never let him read what I write. Only because...He is my dad lol) is still proud of me and brags about me. i just always feared that others would judge me harshly.

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  3. When my grandfather passed away years ago, my mother specifically asked me to take care of hiding his porn videos so my grandmother wouldn't find out. Even so, I would be mortified to have my mother read any of my little stories.

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