Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Death Becomes Her

Death is something that I have been adding to my writings lately. Though my writings have always been erotic romances, I have been moving toward killing people off in my novels.
My family is not surprised. They have come to the conclusion that I am obsessed with death. These thoughts have come from the fact that I love to watch crime dramas like Criminal Minds, Law & Order, Bones, and all of the CSI shows. If I’m not watching that, I am glued to either HLN watching the Jodi Arias trial or Investigative Discovery.
I wouldn’t say because I love the show that I am obsessed with death. I grew up watching those types of shows with my mom. My mother and I, when I was younger, used to watch, Colombo, Perry Mason, Matlock, Diagnosis Murder, Murder She Wrote all the time. Those were bonding times with my mother. And later we both became obsessed with CSI Miami and Law & Order SVU.
We both said it was not “death” itself that we loved about the shows. It was the mystery and the
way the crime was solved. Death was not the important part of those shows.
At one point, I stopped watching those shows after my mother died three years ago. After her death, I will admit that I did for a second become obsessed with death. I became obsessed with the pain and my own mortality. If anything I became afraid of death. I was afraid of dying leaving my kids with the pain that consumes me when my mother died. I couldn’t bear to watch death on TV and watch autopsies and crime scenes.
Though my mother died of natural causes, the pain of her death was too much. Watching those shows hurt worse when I thought about all the times we watched the shows together.
Ironically, after a while, her death made me appreciate life more and how I should feel blessed for all the things in my life. Her death helped me to make strides to better my life and accomplish things I never thought I could accomplish. It wasn’t until after my mother died that I published my first book.
No, I’m not obsessed with death. I just have been wondering what it would be like to kill off a few people in my stories. I wanted to test my writing skills and take that journey to see if I have what it takes to write an erotic murder mystery series.
My family thinks it would be no problem for me. With the amount of crime dramas I watch and the law classes I took in college they feel like I’ll be a natural at this.
No, I’m not obsessed with death. I am obsessed with the fear of dying.

Bonus: My favorite movie of all time is Clue


  1. I listened to an interview with Natalie Goldberg last week who suggested "write about your obsessions." I tried it. I learned a lot in a single writing session. There's a lot more to discover. Maybe writing about the fear of dying will give you a good start on your erotic murder mystery. I have a title suggestion: Killing Me Softly....

  2. Hi Donnee
    I have a saying that most people really don't like to hear but it goes "we are born, dying" and isn't it true? Everyday we live through is one day closer to that day. My husband has melanoma cancer that has spread through out his body, tumors grow like dandelion seeds blown into the wind and bulge from beneath his skin. Death is the reality, but living fully daily is our choice. My obsession is the science behind the solving of crimes. Love Criminal Minds and CSI Miami. I am more obsessed with Life after Death cases then is probably healthy or normal.

    1. You know, i watched my dad have strokes and get sick and I worried and threatened him to take his medicine and go to his doctor because he hated it so much and mother died. She was the healthy one or so we thought. She smoked so much that tobacco clogged her arteries and cause her to have a fatal heart attack. I know death is eventually coming for me. I just fear that it will come too soon.

  3. Wow, great title Dennis.

    I also grew up watching "Columbo". Later I loved watching "Monk" and now "The Mentalist". I never got into watching CSI or any of those shows. I think killing off characters can be a good thing. In my novel one of the main characters was killed. Everyone pretty much knows who did it, but putting the pieces together is not that easy. By the way, that main character that was killed, was not a human, but loved by the readers. That's all I'm sayin' for now. :)

    1. Uh oh...will the readers be angry lol. I like Monk but I never watched the mentalist. I guess I have to check it out now.

  4. I have watched most of the shows mentioned above. And enjoyed them. I always thought it was the puzzle that I was obsessed with. I was often able to figure out whodunit, but seldom why. So now I'm working on a mystery novel (among other things) and find that I have to know why up front. (Well, I do for the second draft.)

  5. Donnee, thanks for this post that makes us think about our own mortality. My father died when he was young (54) and I was only 29. I didn't become "obsessed" with death then. I think because I was young and it was sudden. But, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, that was a whole new ballgame. I still don't think I was obsessed. But, I thought about the importance of living each day. Letting the people whom I love know it. It was powerful.


  6. I enjoy watching all the shows you mentioned and a lot of the reason why is because of the mystery and the puzzle. I don't think I'm obsessed with death but I believe that, like anyone, I'm curious about what happens next.