Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Teaching Sex


31 days of hot sex
77 positions in 77 days
7 sex tips will that will put you in hospital.
A hundred always to have an amazing orgasm.

No.

These are not titles of a new book nor are they a list of my writing ideas. Theses titles come from my favorite magazines and also my go to guilty pleasure.
Cosmopolitain magazine.

Ah yes! For years Cosmo has regaled us with intimate and sexy confession stories, the hottest fashion advice, pictures of celebs and a million articles on how to have the best orgasm, sex and how to get men to swoon over you.

Those types of articles were the beginning of my sexual awakening as a child.

No.

I am not saying that is was Cosmo alone. There was TV eventually and the internet. But yes Cosmo was the first to introduce me to terms and sexual understanding.
Sex was never openly talked about in my home growing up. My mother never had that talk with me and both her and my dad avoided the subject like the plague despite the fact that I had siblings that were (and I know how crude this sounds) popping out babies left and right. They never thought that could be helped by maybe talking to their sons and daughters about sex.
I was 8 when I realized that I was beginning to have sexual feelings. I was 10 when I got a hold of a Cosmo magazine. At that age I was considered to be a very precocious child. I was mature for my age and I loved to read anything that I could get my hands on at that time. I was also coming into puberty very quickly and was in need of guidance about the world.
I was too afraid to talk to my parents because they never made it an open topic. My mother at one point refused to take me to the gynecologist and I thought it might have been the fear of finding out whether or not I was having sex.  I wasn't. I was a virgin until I met my husband.
The point that I am trying to make here is that as I have grown into an adult, I still have hang-ups and problems around sex. For years I viewed it as something shameful and not something to talk about. I never talked about sex with my friends and I barely talked about it with my husband. Sex had this stigma around it.
I decided that I didn't want my daughters to feel like I did or to have to rely on the “streets” or magazines to teach them about sex. I decided to have the uncomfortable talk with my daughter. She is 12 going on 13 but has the body of a 16 year old. She is mature yet very gullible and na├»ve at time. It was a very uncomfortable experience for us but weeks later, she told me that if she ever had questions about sex she would have no problem talking to me about it because I was honest with her.
We can’t let the outside world teach our sons and daughters about sex. How can we trust they will tell them the truth?

5 comments:

  1. It sounds like the two of you had a great talk.

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  2. I agree Donnee. I remember when I was in my early teens I babysat at a house that had "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask". I loved babysitting there because I would scour this book after the kids went to bed.
    Although I could talk to my mom about a lot of stuff, including questions about sex, this book allowed me to discover a few things without the embarrassment of asking my mom.

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  3. I think a lot of Cosmos articles were aim at us guys. "How to give her an amazing orgasm" etc. It worked on me. I would be in the doctor office and picked it up and read it. Most men learn about sex in the locker room. Listening to the older guys telling lies. The bad part about sex books and magazines is that they are geared for woman pleasure. Most men can tell you all the parts of the female sex organs, but ask him about his. Ask him the real reason we have morning erections, he don't have a clue. Most men don't know how their ejaculation starts internally ,only how it ends. A lot of men don't want their chest touched because they think sensitive nipples mean they might be gay. so they by pass that pleasure. The list goes on. Male sexuality need to be learned by both sexes... But then, that's one man opinion.. :)

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  4. Good for you Donnee! More parents should realize they can't wait for or rely on the sex-education classes to do their job. Sure, it's uncomfortable, mainly because we're not accustomed to having serious talks about sex with our children, or anyone. You've gained your daughter's trust. That is priceless. xoA

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  5. I had three older sisters, so I can relate to the comment about finding women's magazines with intriguing topics. And yes, guys are really stupid about their own sexuality. I lived in a frat house for three years and saw (and heard) many examples of that.

    The "Everything You Wanted to Know..." book was a big hit among my high school friends, but much of the information was erroneous; yes, the author was an MD and it was a best seller, but many stories were apparently based more on the locker room than the research lab.

    I kept my antennae up for the "right time" to have the talk with my sons. It worked well with the older one, but then the younger one figured he knew it all already, so not so much.

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