Wednesday, September 18, 2013

C is for...










is for... Completely Overwhelmed




I am a machine.

I wake up in the morning, I fix three separate lunches (two daughters and a husband), I make breakfast, get coffee ready for my husband and I, make sure my 13-year-old gets off to school and make sure my kindergartner is dressed, brushes her teeth and gets off to school.  I then come home and fix breakfast for the 2-year-old, get her washed and dressed. 
Some days we go to the park or out to play with her friends.  Then I go grocery shopping, clean the house, feed the cat, make lunch for my two year old, do a couple loads of laundry (wash fold and put away) pick up the kindergartner from school, get her afternoon snack, prep for dinner, try writing in a blog post or two, write a short story, make dinner, clean up after dinner, talk with husband until he falls asleep about his day and mine. Fight with the kids to make them stay in bed and hopefully to sleep. Then I spend next 3 hours writing.
 This all happens from about 6:30 AM to 2 AM the next morning.
That is an easy day.

I am a machine.

Sometimes I feel like a machine but like any machine there comes a time when the machine needs maintenance. There are some days I’m completely overwhelmed.
 I have 3 daughters. One daughter tries not to be demanding or want too much so I sometimes feel like I’ll overlook her, the middle child is way too demanding and is on me day-to-day like white on rice. The last kid, the baby in the family, is so stubborn and gets into so much that she can drain the life out of you. (Case in point: In two days she locked herself in the bathroom, shoved a foam letter up her nose and spit yogurt all over me.)
Trying to build my writing and let it lead into a profession has been so difficult to accomplish while staying home with the kids. I often hear questions like, How do you make time to write? How do you do it all?
 Honestly, I don’t know.

Some days I’m a machine.

There are other days I just want to scream.
Yet… I don’t.
 I don’t scream because I love my family. Yes, it’s hard but I am strong and I can handle it.  I would do anything for them.  I will sacrifice to make sure they are taking care of.
I find time for my writing and I find time for my family because I love both very much.  I love my family and I love to write and to be honest I write not just for myself or for my readers but I also write for my family as well.

So I will go on making breakfast,  getting fixing lunches, washing clothes, cleaning rooms, cleaning the house, driving the kids all over the city,  doing chores that need to be done,  taking care of my husband, taking care of kids and writing to three in the morning because I’m doing what I love to do.  Even if on the days that end in “y” I am completely overwhelmed.

7 comments:

  1. Please don't feel mechanical. I sense a living breather, hard-working mother and wife. From what you write about your life, I would say that you are disciplined and organized. Two enviable traits that allow you to balance your responsibilities with your creative expression through writing, which may just be keeping you sane. I have one question: When do you sleep?

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    1. I don't sleep. Well, I sleep between the hours of 3am-6:30am almost every other night. LOL, that's about it.

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  2. Having all of that responsibility is crazy, but you're amazing for being able to take care of everything. However, being able to do what you love does make a busy lifestyle understandable. Great post.

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  3. Oh, Donnee, you've got quite a routine there. But, I admire how you are holding it all together even though sometimes your energy may flag. Your family is lucky to have you, and you will look back on these days and marvel at all you've accomplished.

    But, one piece of advice: Do get some sleep and take care of yourself so you can take care of everyone else and keep on writing.
    Thanks for sharing.
    xoA

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  4. Quite a regime...not sure I could do it. But I admire the dedication. And I ditto the recommendation for sleep...it'll help with everything else.

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  5. I look forward to my days as a father. I feel like I do a lot now, but I know that's not the case. Last week was my overwhelming week. I just about gave up and went to bed without writing, but I fought through it and added one of my favorite bits of writing to the collection.

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  6. I know now things are hectic and it seems like it will be hectic forever, but it won't. The girls will grow up a bit and have new interests. Then too soon they will be teens and making plans for after graduation.

    As much as it sounds cliche, enjoy them when you can take the time. Make the time. Mine are 33, 31, and 17. I'm fortunate the 33 year-old is back home for a while. It seems she grew up and moved out and I missed her so.

    The 17 year-old can hardly wait to start college, threatening to move far away to be 'on his own'. Personally I hope it doesn't happen. I will miss him.

    Time goes by so fast. Make time for yourself because you need it. But don't forget to enjoy life too.

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