Saturday, November 9, 2013

R is for...









is for Rated for Mature Audiences Only


I know what you are thinking. This must be in some way shape or form about the material that I write. Yes, the content of my books are for adults and rated only for mature audiences. Yet that is not what I am here to talk about.
I want to talk about my husband. I know that pretty much people know who I am married to, but I will reframe from saying his name because he works for a Catholic hospital and they have strict rules about employees.
Yet, without saying his name, I am going to talk about him and his vulgar mouth none the less. So just so I can get you to understand why I view my husband as Rated MA, here is a typical conversation my husband and I will have.

Conversation #1
Me: “I am so craving chocolate.”
Hubby: “I have a large piece of chocolate over here that you can suck on.”

Yes, everyone assumes that because I am the erotic romance writer in the family I must have the vulgar mouth or the constant dirty mind. No. My husband is so much worse than I am. He can turn any conversation into something sexual or dirty. I am not kidding you.
For 11 years I have been with this man and nothing has changed. As a matter of fact as he has gotten older he has gotten worse. There are rarely any sweet nothings in your ear anymore or sweet pre-sex massages. I just get “You wanna suck my dick?”
I mentioned to my therapist and she just laughed. I didn’t find it that funny.)

Conversation #2
Me: “My acid reflux is killing me.”
Hubby: “Well, if get over here and suck this dick, I have a creamy base, filled with protein that will slide down your throat just nicely.”

Yes, I have known since the day I met him that he had a filthy, dirty mouth and mind. It’s not just me that I get some of my material from. Some of the things the men in my books say are based on things that my husband has said to me on a few occasions.
I get the raunchiness from him and the romance in my stories from myself. Not to say that I can’t get kinky (dirty talk is my thing), but there are times when I am stressed from the kids or some working that I need a nice massage, warm bath then have him lotion me. That will get me in the mood for sex.
Yet, I have no one to blame but myself. I picked him, I married him and I have three beautiful little girls with him. I knew he wasn’t romantic and I knew he was freaky, kinky that came with a dirty filthy mouth.
Well, it makes for great stories and for amazing sex. I guess I can go another 11 years.


3 comments:

  1. Donnee,
    Too funny about your "MA rated" husband. I'm sure he is just trying to give you dialogue for your books... yeah, right!
    Well, as you mentioned the stories and sex have made it all worth it.
    Thanks for sharing. :)

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  2. Loved your story and especially the punch line. Then I thought, 11+11=22. That is really going some these days.

    Thanks, Donnee. xoA

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  3. Well, I can be raunchy, but my twenty-something year old sons will testify that their mother is the one with the mouth in my family. She'd kill me if she saw me write that, too.

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