I was frozen in place.
“Can I help you?” He asked.
I couldn’t speak. My mind and my eyes were too focused on his half naked muscular body and his erection peeking through his boxers.
He smiled at me.
I was still mesmerized.
I had no clue why I was standing here or why I even followed him back to his room but here I was staring at his hard member and imagining him in my mouth.
He took a step toward me and peeked out into the hall. When he was satisfied I was the only one there, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the room closing the door behind me.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. Yet I didn’t leave. I stood and let him approach me bringing our lips together. It was a hot and furious kiss. Aggressive yet sensual. His tongue played with mine and they danced a familiar dance making me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time.
His lips traveled from my lips to my cheeks then down to cover my neck. I heaved a sigh unable to drag myself away from him. Then his lips were back on mine as his arms wrapped around my waist. I could feel him against me and it triggered a yearning deep inside. I could feel the ache between my legs.
You shouldn’t be here.
You should be at home with your husband.
Your kids are waiting for you.
These thoughts ran through my head as I kissed and caressed the man in front of me. It was too late. I was gone.
He moved back and stared at me.
“I see how you stared at me out there. You want me don’t you?” he asked.
Thoughts of my husband and kids washed away and were replaced with the need to be touched and made love to. I knew if I did this, there was no going back.
I looked up at him and nodded.
Two days earlier…
I watched from the bathroom window as large snowflakes began to fall for the first time this winter. It was starting to feel a lot like Christmas and I was suddenly starting to feel the warmth and comfort of the season.
The buzzing of my vibrator was muffled a little as I shoved it deep inside. I leaned against the back of the tub and threw my head back as I could feel the device hit my g-spot. A moan escaped from my mouth and I quickly placed my hand over my lips afraid my sounds of pleasure would be heard. I pulled out the vibrator and then shoved it back in with force. I repeated this process until I could feel my orgasm build.
“Mommy, Jacob hit me,” my daughter Kailen said banging on my bathroom door.
My feet hit the faucet and my head hit the hard white tile.
“Shit!” I exclaimed as I fumbled around, climbing out of the tub and pulling on my pants.
I sighed as I struggled to pull myself together. My feelings of warmth for the season washed away, along with my orgasm, as I realized winter brought at least two weeks of chaos in my home. As the flakes of freezing precipitation fell from the sky it reminded me that school was officially closed for winter break.
These kids had been driving me crazy all day. They were bored and cranky. I spent the day chasing them around the house, cleaning up after them and trying to keep them from killing each other. My head hurt, my body ached and all I had to show for it was a messy house. I finally got my baby down for his nap and found a little time for myself and yet again here they were…trying to murder each other.
When I was younger I wanted to have children but I didn’t expect that at 33 years old I would have four children, a husband and a house that I was responsible for.
I went to college for 4 years to work in communications and now I’m just a desperate housewife stuck at home, tired constantly and trying to maintain a marriage to a workaholic.
I opened the bathroom door and standing there was my oldest child holding her hand over her right eye.
“Kailen, please. I just need a few minutes before your brother wakes from his nap.”
It was so much harder being a mom when your husband works so much. My husband Jeremy worked in sales and spent a lot of the time out of town on business. When he’s home, I feel bad asking him for help. Not that he would give me any. When he is home and not on the road, he constantly has his nose stuck in his smart phone or on his laptop. There seemed to be very little time left for us to spend together.
Though I love the kids and Jeremy, It has taken a toll on me. I feel like I’m 50 instead of 33.
“But he hit me!” she screamed.
I huffed like a two year old child and marched past my daughter, out of my bedroom and down the hall to the living room. I found my son sitting wide legged on the floor playing Legos with his little brother.
“Jacob, no hitting your sister. If I catch you hitting her again I will throw away all of your Christmas gifts this year. Try me.”
I didn’t wait for him to say anything. I was exhausted and didn’t have the brain power to deal with the kids right now. Christmas was in three days and there was so much to be done. My in-laws were going to be in town and the last thing I needed was for my mother-in-law to see my house a mess.
So far I had been cleaning and scrubbing for a week trying to keep the house clean in spite of three kids running around trying to undue all the work I had done. It has been much more difficult now that they are home on Christmas break.
Suddenly I heard keys rattling in the lock and knew Jeremy was home. When he entered all three children raced to greet him.
“Daddy!” They screamed in unison.
“Hey,” he responded encircling them in his arms.
After giving each one a kiss on the forehead he came over to me. He was smiling until he saw the look on my face.
“I was going to ask you about your day but I think I see the answer written all over your face.”
I wore my emotions on my sleeve so I knew my furrowed brow and clenched teeth gave me away.
“I’m just tired.” I said turning toward the kitchen.
He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms.
“Wait a minute,” he said.
He leaned down and kissed me on the lips.
“Let’s just order out for dinner and then you can relax.”
Just then the baby started to scream. I looked up at him with a raised brow.
“I’ll get the baby,” he responded.
We did order out for dinner and after it was over and I had cleaned up after everyone, I spent two hours trying to get all the kids in bed and asleep. Finally, it was time to spend some time alone with my husband. He was sitting on the couch flipping through channels on the TV. Hopefully I could persuade him to move the party into the bedroom. I sat down next to him and buried my face in his neck.
“You smell so good.” I commented.
“Baby, are you crazy? I need a shower.”
I smiled and began to rub his knee, then his thigh moving up to find…he wasn’t aroused. Well, I was going to have to change that.
“That’s fine,” I said. “Maybe we can shower together.”
He narrowed his eyes and furrowed his brow.
“In our tiny shower?” he began standing from the couch. “If you really need to shower you can go first. I can wait.”
I sighed realizing that this night would not end the way I wanted it to. It was going to conclude the same way it has for the past six months. He would go to bed and I would end up satisfying myself in the bathroom.
In our bedroom, I waited until he showered and went to bed before I showered. While drying off, I thought about what has been going on lately.
What’s wrong with me?
Why doesn’t my husband want to have sex with me?
Is he cheating?
I didn’t think anything was wrong with me but then again my body has changed since I gave birth to my baby. I checked myself out in the mirror turning sideways and looking at myself head on.
I didn’t have a huge ass but it was sufficient. I grabbed my large breast in my hands and squeezed. Maybe they were starting to sag more. Right now they were full of milk to feed my baby. Maybe he didn’t want to be near them as long as I was breastfeeding.
Stretch marks lined my stomach and thighs. Was he turned off by them? I sighed and leaned against the cold wall. I was horny and frustrated and I was getting close to exploding.
I needed release.
I quietly exited the bathroom covered only in a towel wrapped around my body. I tiptoed to my bedside table and slowly pulled opened the bottom drawer. I grabbed my vibrator and the baby monitor. I left the bedroom and descended the stairs to the living room. I entered the home office and locked the door behind me.
I sat at the desk and turned on my laptop. I sat the baby monitor down and turned it on medium volume. I searched for porn that would help me satisfy myself. The scenario I picked involved a woman whose best friend’s husband seduces her in her bedroom. It was hot and sexy. I leaned back in the chair and spread my legs. I was already wet as I watched. I slid my vibrator inside of me and thrust it in and out.
I used my fingers to rub my clit. I moaned as I watched him spread her legs and dip his head down making sure his warm wet tongue made contact with her throbbing clit.
I hated having to do this so often alone. I didn’t want to masturbate. I needed a man inside of me. I became jealous of the beautiful woman on the screen as he pounded her pussy making her beg for more.
I came hard surrendering my body to the waves of pleasure that rippled through me. There was nothing going on in my mind than how good it felt.
I came and immediately began to feel sad and depressed. I hated having to do this myself and while watching porn. I wanted to be enjoying my husband. I wanted him to do those things to me.
Why didn’t he want me?